When I was a little kid, I loved to play school. I would save my tests and papers and assignments in a box so that all summer long we could play school with real stuff. My best friend had a big chalkboard and old-fashioned wooden desks in her basement. Her mom was a school secretary, so we had old textbooks and readers. I think we played school until we were in about 6th grade. I was never a student – I was always the teacher. “I want to be a teacher” was an easy answer for me when people asked what I wanted to be when I grew up.
At 7 years old I started piano lessons and I was pretty darn good. In my tiny, rural town I was kind of a big deal. I was the accompanist for every musical group we had in our school and I played keyboards in jazz band. All of my music teachers (and my parents) said I would be a great music teacher. So, when I got to college, it seemed like a no-brainer for me to combine my music skills and my love for teaching and get a degree in music education. So – I did!
Four years later, I landed a job teaching music in a great school district. I spent a lot of time sick that year, and most of it was due to stress. I was not loving teaching music. A few years later, I found a different teaching job. I thought that maybe the reason I hated teaching music was the age of the students. I was with kids age 5 to 11, so moving to a middle school where I had more mature kids (ha ha) seemed like a good idea. But I was wrong, I still hated it. As a matter of fact, with eight weeks left in the school year, I met with the principal and told her I would not be returning the next year. As soon as I realized that I only had to do that job for two more months I felt better. I’m not joking. I had developed an ulcer because I was so unhappy, and it disappeared quickly once I had made a decision to leave.
For the next 15 years I wandered from job to job. Retail, office assistant, receptionist, temp jobs, athletic trainer, health teacher, claims processor, blah, blah, blah …. I went to school and collected college degrees. At some point, my dad grew concerned with my job hopping. In typical Dad fashion (my dad, perhaps not yours), he said “I don’t understand why you keep changing jobs. You had a great deal going when you were teaching school. If you had stuck with that, you would have had tenure and been making really good money. You would have great insurance and be home with the kids in the summer. What are you thinking?” My response was simple. “I don’t like teaching school, Dad. I am not happy.” My father grew up during the depression – a time when a person was grateful to have any kind of job. The concept of being happy in your work was something he could not comprehend.
I am not sure that I was completely clear on what was driving me to move from job to job until that moment. What a blessing it was for me to get clear about one of my core values! I need to find happiness in the work I do, and if that is there then I believe I can do anything.
My transitions didn’t stop the day I had that conversation with my father. They have continued. Many of them have been very challenging, and whenever I wanted to give up, I would ask myself why it was worth it. Time and again, the answer has been that I want to find more happiness and joy. When I feel that way, I show up differently in the world. I am a better person in every relationship I am in. My health is better. My mind is clearer. It’s a good thing!
Sometimes you choose a change and sometimes a change chooses you. During times of transition, it’s easy to focus on what’s going on around you. Remember to look inside yourself for guidance; spiritual, social, physical, emotional, and intellectual aspects all hold valuable information for you. We all have an internal compass that informs our choices. If we don’t understand our internal compass, we end up making choices based on other people’s desires. Those changes may bring temporary happiness or fulfillment, but ultimately, we need to make choices that align with what is important to us at our core; we need to be clear on what we want!
#transition #drj
